New york, NY – For years the American people and the intelligence community had an indication that there was an infiltration of evil forces in the mainstream media. From MSNBC, to ABC News, and even Huffington Post, there was always a clue that the enemy was within us. Now, to clarify rumors, a member of ISIS has claimed responsibility for the evil that is CNN.
According to their terrorist spokesman, Abdul Al-Salami, ISIS has infiltrated the American media by passing as news. “We are responsible for poisoning the minds of the infidels by using CNN to pass as many fake news as possible. You American’s deserve it and shall burn in hell,” said the terrorist.
While the news came as a shock to many, it also provided a bit of comfort in knowing that what CNN had become in the last two years was not business as normal. “I knew there had to be an outside influence for Don Lemon, Christiane Amanpour, and even Chris Cuomo”, said a relieved citizen. Now we can move on with our lives.