Washington, DC – National security is one of the most important issues of our time, and as such, some politicians have taken this threat seriously. An investigation by the Democratic party indicated that an officer with the Washington State Police committed a grave error, and as such, he is asked to step down from his position. His crime: Suspicion of espionage by applying Russian dressing on his salad.
According to the politician behind this endeavor, Mr. Jim Laughton, “Anyone tasked with the enforcement of laws, and the security of the nation, can’t be involved in such treasonist actions.” The congressman also indicated that he will further investigate if this suspicious use of Russian condiments warrants an impeachment of President Trump, as he finds it reasonable that any contact with Russians is an act of war.
Congress is also investigating a security guard in Huston, Texas after he suspiciously ordered a Russian bride. “We will leave no stone unturned until we remove any indication of Russian influence in our government,” said Mr. Laughton.