Obama to Receive Medal for Police Bravery

Washington, DC. – In the last days of President Obama’s reign, medals and awards have been awarded to many. These awards include Vice President Joe Biden getting the Medal of Freedom for being, well, a vice president, and Mr. Obama himself getting the Distinguished Public Service medal for being, well, the President. After seeing these amazing displays of selflessness, and in the spirit of equality, the National Law Enforcement Awards Division (NLEA), decided that President Obama was worthy of receiving one of their highest awards.

After serious consideration, the NLEA decided that Mr. Obama was elegible to receive the National Police Bravery Award for acts of courage in the face of extreme danger. And while some of the previous award recipients include police officers around the nation who have saved countless lives, placed themselves in danger to protect others, and even the apprehension of extremely dangerous suspects; President Obama’s record of one-sided take on police conflicts, anti-police rhetoric talk, and phone calls to the family of subjects killed by police justifiably, are nothing short of courageous.

While talking to the head of awards and medals from the NLEA, we learned that President Obama went above and beyond the call of duty by over-extending his dislike against police and ensuring that a police-hating climate existed in schools, the media, and even tv shows; “Although we had other candidates that had taken multiple shots from suspects, had saved a bus-load of kids, and even shut down a major mafia syndicate, President Obama just awed us with his brave behavior,” said Mr. Mark Murphy, of the awards commission.

The NLEA hopes that Mr. Obama’s self-given awards measure to the one handed by them, and can bring closure to an otherwise wonderful administration.

**In unrelated news, the NLEA has been shut down after every one of their award-issuing members suddenly received hundreds of traffic citations.

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