Police Chief Announces the Unthinkable: He Knows Everything!!

After months of rumors and back room talk, the chief of a small police department in Louisiana has come clean to his guys, finally claiming that he, in fact, does know everything about policing.

The shocking announcement was a splash of fresh water to the 23 member police force, who had their hopes sky high on their chief, Clay Smith II, who has been with the force 36 years. Although the chief’s records reflect that he has only handled 2 murders, 7 burglaries, and two cat trapping calls, the hero of the small village community is the inspiration to his team: “He just has the knowledge to get things done, even if there’s nothing to get done,” said detective Edward Holmes, who has been with the bureau 17 months.

Chief Smith, who refers to himself as “Smitty,” decided to confess to his friends and colleagues the news of his eternal knowledge, after he was able to decipher and properly identify a perpetrator of a burglary to a fried chicken restaurant. The culprit, who was his son, came clean to the detectives and confessed to the crime. After this event, members of Luisfeyette PD’s ¬†finest knew there was just something about their chief that wasn’t normal. Smitty then gathered his officers in his office and broke the news. There was laughter, joy, and pride in that office. Officer Mike Penny, one of the youngest members of the force, promised to name his unborn child after him. Chief Smith felt the pride and Sprit de Corps rarely seen in such an environment, which he compared to the likes of Nay SEAL’s or Marines.

 

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